SELF-REGULATING Guidlnes

An important aspect to creating a safe, learning, and supportive environment is for members to self-regulate their behavior while posting or chatting on this board. Self-regulation is often difficult, but practicing controlling our own behavior helps us learn to set and respect others' boundaries. Since gossiping, bashing members, administrators, other boards, or demonstrating similar, inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated here, we included tips for you to consider before logging into or posting here.

1. Be in an adult state of mind thoughtful, kind, and supportive before logging in or posting.

2. Before beginning a new topic, consider carefully what you need from community members. State your topic clearly, including spoilers, if appropriate. Post your intention (sharing experience, asking a question, or seeking support). Then, state what you need from members. Do not include several topics in one post. Break down the topics and post them in the appropriate areas within the board. These steps will help other members respond to your posts..

3. Before responding to a post, read it a couple times and identify the important points the writer presents and determine their needs, be it support, information, validation, etc. Reply by responding directly to the member constructively and with their needs in mind. Try not to hijack posts making the post about you or changing the subject from the original topic. If you think of a subject that pertains to, but is not in answer to the original members post, begin a new thread. If something comes to mind that you would like to explore, start a new topic. All posts should be on-topic and directed to the original member's post..

4. Recognize what triggers you. Do not read posts that you know are triggering. If you feel uncomfortable, walk away from the board and take a break. If you are feeling overwhelmed with new information, give yourself time to absorb before reading further on that topic. If you become triggered or overwhelmed while chatting, leave the room immediately..

5. Agree to Disagree. We don't always agree with others' ideas, beliefs, or opinions and that is okay. When we disagree with another member's opinions, beliefs, or ideas, it is imperative that we respect and support their feelings and experiences as valid. Members may state opposite points of view by first responding with support and validation, then clearly and diplomatically presenting their opinion as their own, rather than presenting themselves as experts. Debates, arguments, etc. will not be tolerated..

6. Do not, for any reason, attempt to recruit members, either through private mail or posts for any outside organization. If you know of any organization you would like the board to promote, please submit it to a staff member for approval. Once approved, they will be added to the resource section..

7. If you receive private mail that seems intrusive, such as a member requesting personal information or unsolicited friendship, please copy the private mail and paste it to a moderators private mail to promote discussion between moderators and members concerning boundaries and safety issues. All information received and any discussions between admins and members is completely confidential..

8. Do not read private mail unless in an adult state of mind. If any private mail is addressed to a member of your system who is under the age of 18, do not read it, but immediately send a copy to a staff members' inbox..

9. Respect and support each other..