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To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.


Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

As a friendly and kind community, we validate each other as equally special and significant.

These forums are active and the community not too large or too small - about 400 posts per day. There are many forums on different topics. The topics range in subject matter also. You are welcome to interact as you feel comfortable.

This is a safe place for members. We encourage building coping skills, learning from each other and material shared. We discourage sharing explicit memories of past abuse. We feel that processing memories be done with professionals. There are no practicing therapists on these forums. Therefore, topics that call for therapist type responses are discouraged.

Feel free to look around. Realize that, as a guest, your view of the forums is minimal. These forums are otherwise private to the public view and/or search engines.

We have literally hundreds of articles and provide workshops for everyone. Please feel free to email me anytime with questions. I am also providing a tutorial that should help with navigating our site.

The very best to you,
Felicity Lee

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Facebook and privacy? article: "Facebook Offers Tools for Those Who Fear a Friend May Be Suicidal"

Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Facebook and privacy? article: "Facebook Offers Tools for Those Who Fear a Friend May Be Suicidal"

Post by felicity on 6/19/2016, 11:37 am

For those of you who totally believe that FB offers privacy and/or anonymity - even in those 'secret groups' - think again. If you think that those who are 'admins', etc. on groups 'make the rules' - think again. Facebook is a 'social network'. Facebook runs the network and makes the rules. There is 'no' real privacy in what you post on facebook - and never has been.

Positive or negative? Facebook has a responsibility for what others post - at least, a responsibility to somehow try to moderate what is posted - and, they have been moderating and tracking su/si posts - for research purposes.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/15/technology/facebook-offers-tools-for-those-who-fear-a-friend-may-be-suicidal.html?_r=2[/mention] wrote:
This becomes debatable and a bit sensitive - as the article explains: "Yet Facebook is walking a tightrope, trying to explore its role as an arbiter of social change without upsetting the hundreds of millions of people who regularly use its services. Some of the suicide prevention tools may trouble groups that have concerns about digital privacy. Many of those groups have already become wary of what they see as Facebook’s overreach in people’s personal lives.

In October 2014, the company was embroiled in a scandal after it emerged that Facebook researchers used its news feed feature to try to manipulate the emotions of its users. The incident resulted in an overhaul of its user research methodology. Last month, Facebook grappled with accusations of political bias and fears about how much it could influence the views of its members.

“The company really has to walk a fine line here,” said Dr. Jennifer Stuber, an associate professor at the University of Washington and the faculty director of Forefront, a suicide prevention organization. “They don’t want to be perceived as ‘Big Brother-ish,’ because people are not expecting Facebook to be monitoring their posts.”

Please read the entire article. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/15/technology/facebook-offers-tools-for-those-who-fear-a-friend-may-be-suicidal.html?_r=2

I am wondering, with millions of people who talk about self-injury and suicidal ideation how facebook intends to 'help' - like any company, they are looking at the 'bottom line' and I don't think will be hiring qualified folks who really know what to do - but, call for 'health-checks' - which they already have been doing when they see fit.

This new plan gives virtually anyone the option to report 'dangerous behavior' and thus, 'flag' the user so that fb moderators will check their posts - hmmm.

All 'forums' run pretty much the same - facebook runs facebook - Ivory Garden runs IGDID. I realize that fb admins may be trying to do a good thing here, but I would never make such a decision that anyone can 'report' what they consider 'dangerous behaviors' - so, that they could be put under a microscope. We understand and work hard to create an atmosphere of understanding - without judgement or fear - where folks can talk and if they want help, can ask for resources. We have been here a decade and supported all members through the good and difficult times - and, not had an incident of SU.

Anyhow - this is open for discussion.

Less than 100 posts
Less than 100 posts


Post by Shamira on 7/18/2016, 9:52 am

I agree! Facebook is NOT private. I WISH their statements, when you first set up an account, that privacy settings work in your favor, to provide just that; privacy. However, it's just not the case.

Also, in regards to suicide, I honestly don't know of ANYBODY who hasn't, at least at SOME point in his/her life, said, "Oh! I could just DIE right now!". Maybe they meant it, maybe not. However, more times than not, the feelings that provoked that thought soon pass. It'd be horrible to have someone read the worst case scenario into that statement, and run with it. Then, monitoring every little thing we post afterwards.
It's best to offer encouraging, uplifting words, and just let people know that we're here, if they ever need to talk. If it gets too far into areas we're not trained to help with (helping someone out of a crisis, for example), then we should offer references. Until then, nobody should immediately think the worst.


Re: Facebook and privacy? article: "Facebook Offers Tools for Those Who Fear a Friend May Be Suicidal"

Post by krathyn on 7/18/2016, 10:27 am

I never go to Facebook and don't have a personal Facebook page.
it has come to my attention that some serious behaviour, like cyberbullying, takes place on some "Facebook" forums.. that these places are not moderated at all and victims are forced into secrecy.
There are private forums  with limited membership that is what IGDID is.. there are public forums that the general public is welcome to--
i have only heard the term "secret forum" in the last couple months in regard to Facebook.

Last edited by krathyn on 7/18/2016, 11:26 am; edited 1 time in total

wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, (Kathie 3-9), kathrynmarie
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--

Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Facebook and privacy? article: "Facebook Offers Tools for Those Who Fear a Friend May Be Suicidal"

Post by felicity on 7/18/2016, 10:49 am

I don't know that it would be wise to post anything about SU, SI, medications, crisis moments, needs for support - especially any talk about symptoms of DID on facebook at all. But, people do - hundreds of people - as if they think no one out there is reading beyond where they are posting.

And, yes - the terms of service on facebook are very clear and would probably amaze people who agree to them, but don't follow any of them. 'Privacy Policy' is law - and every forum, board, site and group must have theirs' posted and follow the law pertaining to personal information. And, beyond that - are terms of service that seem to be totally ignored - and, I am assuming that nothing is much monitored - since people are breaking them repeatedly. I am thinking people who break terms of service can only be stopped if they are reported to fb or the server of the forum.

Facebook does include their own 'right' - as most should assume - they run facebook - not the members - or admins of groups - right?

Here is an example:

facebook terms of service wrote: you grant us a non-exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any IP content that you post on or in connection with Facebook (IP License). This IP License ends when you delete your IP content or your account unless your content has been shared with others, and they have not deleted it.
When you delete IP content, it is deleted in a manner similar to emptying the recycle bin on a computer. However, you understand that removed content may persist in backup copies for a reasonable period of time (but will not be available to others).

Meaning that what you post 'is' there - somewhere on fb, forever in 'data' form.

There are other laws that provide for protection against people 'acting' as therapists or practicing without a license, people misrepresenting themselves as other than 'whom' they are, using fake names, and/or misrepresenting their qualifications, etc.

I agree that what is happening on the internet within vulnerable populations is not only astounding, but regretful.

It is like 'we' - meaning the survivor community and/or survivors themselves need to make changes to protect other survivors from themselves and those out to hurt them. Some of us do know what is okay and not okay. Some of us do know the laws of what can and cannot be done on the internet. Most don't care - either because they are the 'abusers' and know that no one is going to hold them accountable - or they are the victims and afraid to rock the boat - and/or they believe that if someone is 'stupid enough' to hand over their information without even knowing 'who' they are - well.... 'that's life'. The latter being a shame, because, as we all know, 'it is never the victim's fault when they are abused.' (Don't blame the victim!).

So, a problem has been brewing for over a decade with the survivor groups - right under everyone's nose.

We (IGDID) have always been very carefully to follow standards, rules, and laws in accordance to running a safe and credible forum. Our forum is available for everyone to look at, our terms are clear, and we enforce them as stated, and our Board of Directors and company is 'real' with 'real' information of who we are. I 'own' the forum - in title only - and, am qualified to administer the forum as expected by law - and, my personal information and qualifications are clearly stated.

Despite that fb has these terms clearly written as well, most DID fb forums and others are not administered by anyone who is using their real name or sharing 'who' they are and their qualifications to be running a forum for such a vulnerable population. And, those who join 'are' victims - in the sense that they trust that people are following guidelines, that they 'must' have some qualifications, that they follow the rules - or how could they remain running? Buyer beware 'means' to check this stuff out before becoming involved with any group - especially hidden groups that no one is monitoring.

Would anyone go to a therapist who was not qualified, used a fake name, and told you what to do and how to do it - and, threatened rejection if you didn't follow her/his every whim and order? Then, turn around and gossip about you to all her/his other clients? Would this be helpful to a healing environment? But this sort of behaviors is not only encouraged within most groups, but accepted as the norm.

Over a decade I have been trying to get survivors to see this problem, but most are the victims. Many are not victims - but become targets when they speak out - making things even worse - as they are rendered helpless by cyberbullying and gossip.

Yes, forums and groups should be run by individuals who are qualified and credible. Reliable information by reputable organizations should be the only information that survivors consider before joining a group - rather than gossip, referrals from other victims, and/or being accessed from the internet and influenced to join. But, this is not the case - many survivors are new to the internet and want to 'be included' or 'accepted' into 'elite covert' groups that most have never even heard of.

Things 'should be' and would be, irl, healing environments - but, regrettable, the internet is wide open to anyone who wants to take advantage of the vulnerable population, especially those who have DID and/or PTSD and are 'looking for' good support.

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