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Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

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shadowetal
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Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by shadowetal on 7/4/2012, 9:35 pm

Creating Safety
Submitted by sasha69 (From the book "The Courage To Heal"

What is safety? Have you ever felt it or know what it is? When we were children the adults in our lives where unable to keep us safe or in fact our ab*sers.

When you have never known real safety, how can you learn to trust it? Or even recognise it? If you have felt safety, what was it like? Can you remember the reasons that you felt safe? If you do not remember feeling safe can you think of reasons that have kept you from feeling safe? Now think of the things that you would need to feel and recognize the feeling of safety.

In learning to build safety there is five building blocks.

First is to create ground rules, these rules will help those within know that they do not have to participate until they are ready and help create trust and safety for you as a whole. These rules are to help you acknowledge your fears and to find ways to cope with them and still heal.

Second is to build a container, which means to create boundaries around the hows and whys you work on healing. To imagine that when you are working on you stuff that it will only be during a set time frame and with only the agreed upon people that you trust with the subject.

Third find a safe place to do the work and not be interrupted. This will allow you the ability to face stuff without fear of someone seeing or hearing that which you are working on. Having a safe place will also allow those within to know that this is where the work can be done and left alone when not there.

Fourth establish a sense of privacy, Many of us do not even know what that is. It means that we do not have to share that which we do not want to. Sit down and write a list of the people you feel safe sharing and those that you do not . Remember in this you have the freedom to choice.

the 5th is establishing your own protective rituals or tasks that help you feel safe. What makes you feel safe? Do the little ones have a special stuff toy or soft blanket? When you work are you overwhelmed by odors? Can you burn insence or use therapy oils? Do you like working in low light or candle light? What kind of music helps you and those within relax? Find the things that help you feel safe and use them during the time you are working on your issues.

For many of us we never known real safety as a child. Now is the time to learn it so we can take back our personal power and heal.
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Guest
Guest

Good points

Post by Guest on 7/15/2012, 11:53 pm

Hi! Just wanna say I love your suggestions. This has actually been something I've questioned and struggled with. When you don't trust people, it's very hard to feel safe.
Cathie
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Sals Pals
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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by Sals Pals on 7/17/2012, 10:56 am

Boy! didn't expect to find this post that will be so helpful..

We are new here and still trying to figure out how this works!
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Guest
Guest

Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by Guest on 9/13/2012, 10:58 pm

My friends are trying to get me to watch a scary movie (The Cabin in the Woods). It seams really interesting, I like how the director uses all the elements of suspense in a playful way, but the Zombies just sprung from the earth, and are creeping their way to the unsuspecting cast.

I don't know what it is, I can't watch scary movies. I've tried to tell my friends that the slash and gore films excite something in me that I just don't want to encourage.

But really it comes down to safety. I can hear them now, they are being eaten, and I'm scared for my life. I need to know that I am safe; that, I'm supported in my choices to watch drama/adventure movies, but instead I'm laughed at.

Well, tomorrow is another day. I will sleep it off, but be happy with my choices tonight.
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Izabel
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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by Izabel on 9/14/2012, 12:16 am

AJYumi wrote:My friends are trying to get me to watch a scary movie .... I need to know that I am safe; that, I'm supported in my choices to watch drama/adventure movies, but instead I'm laughed at....

I'm sorry, AJYumi, but your friends don't sound like friends to me. People who laugh at me don't become my friends, and I let go of friends who laugh at me, and/or are not supportive, even if it's over a silly movie. Your friends sound like immature fools to me. You deserve better from these people.

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Old Soul
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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by Old Soul on 9/14/2012, 4:55 am

great article

Old Soul
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Guest
Guest

safety

Post by Guest on 10/21/2012, 7:51 am

This is good to read.I dont have anyone really to talk with that I would feel safe with because I have had rejection.Now Im told its not rejection its way over peoples heads and just dont want to bearound me.My wife is extremely helpful and supportive and she helps me to stay safe and made a safe home for all of me.I love her dearly and have been told alot of women would not go through this and would have left.
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Izabel
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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by Izabel on 10/21/2012, 11:02 am

8-of-us wrote:This is good to read.I dont have anyone really to talk with that I would feel safe with because I have had rejection.Now Im told its not rejection its way over peoples heads and just dont want to bearound me.My wife is extremely helpful and supportive and she helps me to stay safe and made a safe home for all of me.I love her dearly and have been told alot of women would not go through this and would have left.

I agree with you, 8-of-us, that this article is good to read.

I'm sorry you don't feel you have anyone safe to talk with. The safest, and most comforting source that I have in my life, and whom I write to the most, is my Higher Power. I've been doing this since I was a little girl, and it's helped me beyond measure because all I feel is acceptance, understanding, peace, and love when I write.

That's wonderful to hear about the kind of wife you have, you are very fortunate to have such a person in your life. And yes, you are probably right, that a lot of women might not choose to go through what your wife is going through, and would leave. But I think those kinds of women ought not be married at all, let alone be married to a man or woman who is a Multiple.

Your wife is fortunate to have a husband that loves her dearly. You're a good apple.

healinghearts
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1,000+ Posts

Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by healinghearts on 12/22/2012, 9:57 pm

we always look for safetty..
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sasha69
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Re: Dissociative Identity Disorder-Creating Safety

Post by sasha69 on 1/9/2013, 6:12 pm

I wrote the article above when I was looking for safety in the real world. It is amazing how much you forget when you loose the very thing that you have learned to feel safe with.

I to remember all the flack that I got when I tried to tell someone that the very people that clamed that I was with them by choice where in fact only the people that had learned how to use my early childhood programing to make me act the way they wanted me to.

so I had to go to the basics and keep as much space between me and those that where hurting me.

I had to make sure that those that where near me where safe and not vile enough to use my pain for their gain. Now that we have service dogs we no longer have to be on guard.

for all of us that have to heal from our trust being destroyed as children the key is finding a way to see and know it and allowing each of those within to learn and trust in it.
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