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DID help the other is out

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kitty langdon1
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DID help the other is out

Post by kitty langdon1 on 7/26/2015, 8:42 am

Please help I'm new to did and my partner is female but there is a man present and he's out right now and I need ideas on what I can do.id like to talk to someone with knowledge.
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Justiz43
Less than 100 posts
Less than 100 posts

Re: DID help the other is out

Post by Justiz43 on 7/26/2015, 11:36 am





THERE IS PLENTY OF HELP HERE ON THIS FORUM - IVORY GARDEN IS GREAT TO DISCUSS, EXPRESS AND FIND SUPPORT AND ANSWERS.

SORRY - I DON'T DO FACEBOOK ...

WISHING YOU WELL



JUSTIZ43
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: DID help the other is out

Post by felicity on 7/26/2015, 11:40 am

Does she have T?



     

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StarryNight
1,000+ Posts
1,000+ Posts

Re: DID help the other is out

Post by StarryNight on 7/27/2015, 6:07 am

Hi,

I'm sure it may be distressing to see your partner gone and someone else in her place. Especially if their identity is male. I'm a male in a female body and I'm largely outnumbered by girl alters. Please know that all of this might be very stressful for the male alter as well. It's hard dealing with the ever present reality that the body is not at all like you see yourself. That is if he is aware of that fact. Some alters kind of transpose how they look on the inside to the outside body and that is what they see in the mirror contrary to what other people. Try not to fight this too much cause it can be very devastating discovering your in the wrong body. This is something that needs to be realized slowly and safely and preferably with the help of a t if one is in denial about it.

This may be difficult but try and treat the male alter like you would any regular guy. Don't expect the same familiarity you have with your partner. Each alter sees themselves as different and requires a different way of relating.

Also know that a lot of times male alters in a female system play very important jobs like helping the other alters feel safe and protecting them from scary situations. Recognize that this alter is there in the system for a reason. Also think back to the last week. Is there something that might be making your partner feel threatened or unsafe? Male alters can play other roles as well. It might be best to ask him if he is aware of the other alters.

I think the main thing to remember is that we're just like any other alter. We are in the system for a reason. And that we really appreciate being treated as ourselves. So try and get to know this new alter as himself. Developing relationships takes time but it will really pay off in the long run.

Also therapy can be really helpful for people with DID and their partners. If you don't have one already try finding a good therapist who understands DID who can help you with what you're encountering as a loves one of someone with DID.
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Current date/time is 5/22/2017, 10:26 am