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To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.


Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

As a friendly and kind community, we validate each other as equally special and significant.

These forums are active and the community not too large or too small - about 400 posts per day. There are many forums on different topics. The topics range in subject matter also. You are welcome to interact as you feel comfortable.

This is a safe place for members. We encourage building coping skills, learning from each other and material shared. We discourage sharing explicit memories of past abuse. We feel that processing memories be done with professionals. There are no practicing therapists on these forums. Therefore, topics that call for therapist type responses are discouraged.

Feel free to look around. Realize that, as a guest, your view of the forums is minimal. These forums are otherwise private to the public view and/or search engines.

We have literally hundreds of articles and provide workshops for everyone. Please feel free to email me anytime with questions. I am also providing a tutorial that should help with navigating our site.

The very best to you,
Felicity Lee

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Beliefs and Trauma Related Disorders - An Article

Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Beliefs and Trauma Related Disorders - An Article Empty Beliefs and Trauma Related Disorders - An Article

Post by felicity on 11/11/2015, 2:25 pm

Beliefs and Trauma Related Disorders

Beliefs and Trauma Related Disorders - An Article Wm_jam10

As I read and research the topic of the affects of child abuse on survivors, I realize that there are multiple beliefs in our society - not only scientific, but also social.  And, I begin to remember how much I learned during my years of education in the area of psychology and science.  The amount of theories available gives us choices of what we decide to believe.  We do actually have the freedom to believe and change our beliefs at will.  

First, it is imperative to know that any 'belief' is something given us by another.  Beliefs are not based on scientific 'truths', but on someone's opinion that we accept as truth for whatever reason we decide.  Beliefs affect our actions, opinions, and attitudes toward others and each of us.  They are nearly impossible to change unless we are lucky enough to be banged over the head by an experience that allows us to recognize that another actually benefited from our actions based on our acceptance - or our inability to recognize truth - that we always had free-will to believe as we please.

That said, I began trying to list all of the beliefs that different segments of our society have accepted about child abuse and how survivors are affected.  First, I will share my belief about child abuse:

Children are vulnerable and need to be protected at all costs. Survivors remain vulnerable to further abuse until they learn that the beliefs they carry from childhood are lies used meant to benefit others.  I am not interested in perpetrators' beliefs.  I can't imagine how anyone could have beliefs that child abuse would be appropriate.  

Oh - but, as changing people's beliefs is easily done through propaganda, there are more beliefs concerning child abuse and how it affects survivors than you would think out there in society.

Let's take a look at some:

1. Children do not experience trauma until someone tells them that it was traumatic.

2. Pedophilia is a psychological diagnosis - they can't help it, but are born with the propensity to be attracted to children.

3.  Child abuse is over-reported and not a problem in our society.

4.  Abusers should be protected, because victims and survivors' memories are distorted (false).

5.  Abused children will grow up to be productive citizens in society as long as they never enter therapy.

6.  Traumatic diagnoses such as Dissociative Disorders are rare and/or nonexistent within our society.

7.  There is no scientific evidence to suggest that child abuse affects later life psychological symptoms.    

8.  Such activities as human trafficking only happen in third-world countries.

9.  Treating adult survivors of abuse and/or abused children is not effective.  If there are symptoms, only they should be treated and/or medicated.

10. Survivors and/or children who report abuse are attention-seekers.

11. Researching how child abuse affects survivors is a waste of time and resources.  

12.  If survivors simply 'forgive' and 'forget', the symptoms will disappear.  

13.  If children and survivors remain vulnerable and do as their told, they will be safe.

14.  If the public doesn't experience or 'see it' - it doesn't exist.  

15.  The problem of child-abuse has always been there, and things seem to going along fine without attending to it.  

And, the list continues.  I research all the time and have actually found articles on the internet and old 'scientific' theories that suggest these beliefs to be 'true'.  

The fact is that what we believe dictates how each of us behaves and relate to each other.  We choose our friends and groups in order to find 'evidence' to reinforce our beliefs - effectively separating us from ever hearing opposing evidence. Some folks go so far as to 'turn on' and attack those who do not validate their beliefs.  

When I taught middle school students, we called this 'crowd control', triangulation, etc. Children learning to follow the leader, turning weaker students against each other to ensure that whatever the most popular opinions were turned to beliefs.

I wanted to write this so that people understand that, though mind-control and/or conditioning are unpopular 'beliefs' in our society, I am describing exactly how it works.  

No one in our society is obliged to follow 'beliefs', look around for evidence to validate them, or to follow anyone's idea of what it takes to be a part of anything.  Each of us has free-will to 'believe' anything we like.  We don't have to 'belong' anywhere or fear anyone when we speak our beliefs.  We do have free-will to break away from beliefs that do not serve our best-interests - or that serve anyone's.  

Beliefs are no more than that - a gift someone gave us at sometime in our life to hang on to or to let go of and move on to seek out education and find our own truths.

© Felicity Lee, 2015

Do not copy without permission from author.

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Post by islandgirl on 11/11/2015, 7:57 pm

First of all, I'd like to apologize for being inactive these past many months.
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Post by islandgirl on 11/11/2015, 8:02 pm

I wrote more than above post, but don't know where it is? Sorry. ..

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