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To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.

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How to be a good spousal supporter

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Wifeof10
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How to be a good spousal supporter

Post by Wifeof10 on 1/11/2016, 4:53 pm

I am having a hard time wrapping my head around the severity of my husband's DID he keeps telling me things about it but doesn't actually know if it works or not. Maybe just saying for comfort? I am having the most difficult time with the switching. The others will pretend to be him and will talk like him act like him etc. It kills me inside not knowing who I am talking to. I am pregnant as well which doesn't help. :( any suggestions?
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: How to be a good spousal supporter

Post by felicity on 1/11/2016, 8:23 pm

Does he have a therapist?



     

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Beverly
100+ Posts
100+ Posts

Re: How to be a good spousal supporter

Post by Beverly on 2/15/2016, 5:26 am

I am sorry you and your husband are struggling. It is a very difficult time for you and you have my support and understanding.

I have DID. My husband struggles with the same. He read Allies in Healing by Laura Davis. Amongst Ourselves I forget the author. and a few children's book about DID The Silver Boat by Ann Adams was beautiful.

Wrapping your head around DID is so difficult, complex. I struggle with the idea of how "this" all works everyday. I imagine it is even more difficult seeing what your future looks like at this point.

Over the years we have learned together that it is his responsibility to learn about DID/PTSD. The information is there. We have seen a marriage therapist sporadically over the years just to maintain healthy communication.

We learned together that when I am talkative about DID it is best to give me validation. A hug and a "i'm sorry you are hurting"

He is in the process of helping me remember some of my coping skills. If rapid switching is happening it does help me when my husband physically gets out the art or dog leashes and helps me redirect my thoughts to the present.

It has taken time and patients however he is becoming an anchor for me and my parts are starting to feel safe around him.

I can only imagine the confusion and stress you are experiencing at this time.

I hope I was helpful, I am learning and listening.

Beverly
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anthology
5,000+ Posts
5,000+ Posts

Re: How to be a good spousal supporter

Post by anthology on 2/15/2016, 11:14 am

maybe you can talk to the parts who pretend to be him and make sure they know they don't have to do that around you. that you in fact want them to be honest about who they are
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