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Bravery - Courage - great video

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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by felicity on 5/20/2016, 11:52 am

Bravery - Courage - great video




     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

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Grace&us
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Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by Grace&us on 5/20/2016, 3:48 pm

That makes so much sense. Really like her analogies . Thanks for sharing..

Grace&us

MultipleMe
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Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by MultipleMe on 5/20/2016, 9:07 pm

Interesting concepts, Felicity! Thanks for sharing!
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by felicity on 5/21/2016, 8:56 am

I liked it - yes, the analogy about the semi-colon - oh my gosh - can send us into a panic - because, we really don't know anything about coding. It is scary just to look at, but we use it all the time.

Here is an example from this page -
Code:
#content-container div#container {
    float: left;
    margin-right: -30px;
    width: 100%;
}

The semi-colon as well as the brackets - missing one can make a huge mess, and you can see how many there are in this example.

And, she talks about coding a lot. I thought of this forum - and, others out there.

Just to be here interacting with something that looks different or 'new' is scary. But, to take up 'computer coding' - it is like something that must take years of study and.... what if you forget a semicolon (she uses that analogy)? I can do it here - but, would never believe that I could actually do it for a job!??? And, jobs do come up in the area. But, ouch - I don't ever want to fail - and, that does seem an option that would be somewhere I would definitely fail - I might forget a semicolon.

I create websites all the time - some of you have seen them - but, could never do it for money?! I will never be good at it or know everything - all the different computer languages - like looking at something out of another world.

But, my son does coding - computer programming - for a living - he never attended college or even classes. I asked him how he ever keeps track of all the code and what each does? He copies and pastes it from resources he uses - he doesn't get it right each time, but has to try different options until he gets what he is looking for. hmmm - and he gets paid a ton of money. He said he does just what I do. "scrunched face" I would never apply for a job in computer programming - eeks -

I don't agree with a lot of what she says - I don't believe that this is gender specific at all. My son is not all that 'brave' - I taught my kids that they can do whatever they put their mind to doing - that every job will spend the time to teach employees, and if you can learn quickly, and have a positive attitude, you can succeed anywhere. So, he is never 'afraid' or 'brave' - he just knows that it is okay to do your best and everyone does make mistakes - that is okay - it is how you learn anything.

I do believe that how we are raised does affect our courage and motivation to 'step out' into new areas, and that having to be 'perfect' relates to how we relate to abusers - attempting to please in order avoid 'punishment' and gain admiration is one of the traits that survivors carry into adulthood. We are 'afraid' to try new things and especially to 'fail' or feel as if we might or did 'fail'.

I didn't even realize, until I watched that, that anyone would apply for a job unless they had 'all' the qualifications listed. Really? News to me! And, I don't apply for jobs unless I know that I would perform 'perfectly' - never make a mistake.

I remember joining a 'quilting group'. We would make quilts and share them. I would point out every little error and apologize. The told me the rule of thumb: "Never point out your mistakes. You are the only one who notices them."

But, in my head, I just know that every person sees every flaw in my work and me. They are just being nice not to point them out - I will just beat them to the punch (so to say) and apologize - so I feel comfortable and am not lying to them.

Just like when I switch - I know I did - and, if I don't point that out - I am not being honest - somehow.

As you can imagine - going to an interview and pointing out all of my flaws is not going to get me any job. Worrying constantly whether they are noticing all my mistakes - pointing them out - and apologizing is not going to help me keep a job either.

That seems obvious to most. So, I agree, because I 'feel' it inside, that I am literally terrified at failing at anything. I panic if I make one mistake in anything I do. I have always been attracted to 'friends' and people whom are controlling and do point out my every flaw and then, let me know that they still accept me as I am. I like to know all of the 'rules' so as to ensure that I don't break any of them. I like to know that I 'belong' within a completely safe environment - an environment with people just like me.

And, that is what makes all of us so vulnerable to control. Many jobs are set up in this type environment in order to control employees who are not self-starters, to keep them working for fear of failing - paying them minimum wages - and ensuring that they don't step out there and try something new.

I watched her speaking and thought that is something I would never do - get up in front of that many people - each thinking and considering what she is saying. I have a degree in speech - yet, refuse to speak at the conference - even to introduce it - because - what if the audience laughs at me or hates me - could happen, you know? All alone up there on that stage - terrifying.

So, I don't agree with 'gender' part of her presentation - and, didn't really attend to that. I do agree that there are more males into computers right now, but I have read research that some 20-30 years ago most computer games, etc. attracted males more than females - and thus, males feel more comfortable messing with computers. Don't know about all that - or care much.

I think that the courage to 'step out' into the unknown, where we don't feel comfortable' takes a ton of courage - for everyone. And, that courage is not something that is just for a moment, but for long-term - until some become 'perfect' in the new area - again. At least, for me - I will 'quit' if I make to many mistakes and just say - "I can't".

So, I liked her talk, but from a different angle - which obviously, she doesn't understand - I agree that teaching our daughters to be brave is important - but, to stop abusing the children - is more important.



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

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Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

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Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
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krathyn
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krathyn

Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by krathyn on 5/21/2016, 9:30 am

it was worth it to wait till this morning to listen to this, i see many implications in my own life.
i have applied to jobs where i had 75-90 % of the qualifications, gotten good interviews and even gotten the job in one case.
it is true being able to go outside the box, try new things and keep working are types of "bravery" and they are true for both genders. Perhaps it is a little more of a stereotype that girls more than boys are socialized to not trust themselves--but it is disrespectful and abusive to all children to teach them that  they are inadequate and their choices are not good unless they are "perfect"--anyone who equates what they do (eg writing a code) with who they are ("professor there is something wrong with me") is feeling unworthy and less than valued.
For this board i have had some limited experiences writing codes. They are fussy, it is easier to wreck them than it is to get them right, and yet if you keep going past the headaches you can end up with something very satisfying. We need to teach all children to get past the headaches.
The computer/Internet world is a very new phenomenon and still cutting its teeth about who does it. The US and Australia currently have more Internet than anywhere else in the world. Patriarchal societies are going to seem like there is a gender bias against females but some of this is just a learning curve.
Meanwhile, teach all children to value who they are and what they do.



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by felicity on 5/22/2016, 10:46 am

aha - you couldn't see the code - I changed it -



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

https://igdid.org
Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

https://ivorygardensite.com/

Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
avatar
krathyn
krathyn
krathyn

Re: Bravery - Courage - great video

Post by krathyn on 5/22/2016, 8:34 pm

true, i couldn't, and i thought there was something the matter with my computer or browser...



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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