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Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

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brazen60
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Less than 100 posts

Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by brazen60 on 7/4/2016, 5:27 pm

Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

wasn't sure where to post this so here goes...
i just watched an episode of a fusion doc called Tricked:sex trade in america.
they interviewed a young girl who was befriended by a woman in a chat room.  they agreed to meet in person.  this woman took her hostage and pimped her out from a motel room for 48 hours.  she was one of the lucky ones who escaped.

right now, there are hundreds of thousands of trafikkers and pimps trolling chat rooms.  they have also set up their own websites and chat rooms for the sole purpose of luring young girls in so that they might exploit them and do bad things to them.

one girl said that the current age of girls involved in  Forced prostitution is 12 years old.  it is big business right now. they have to turn all their money over to this person.
a woman can just as easily be a human trafikker or a pimp.  believe me, i know.
another said, "if i don't make enough money , my pimp beats me with electrical cords". 'then sends me out to work the streets all night.
i know You think that this can't happen to You but it can.
those people no longer need to physically abduct You from your school or playgrounds:  they are luring you out of your own home and away from your real friends via the internet.  
you know...back in the day when the internet was first introduced to the mainstream  it was not what it is today.  the internet has been so infiltrated by people who only want to use it for their own sick agendas. Rule # 1 was that you Never, Ever agree to meet someone in person or give out your address and phone #.
each individual needs to be able to recognize that when someone #befriends# them, they are under No obligation to meet with this person.  they might promise you a better life halfway across the country as a singer, model etc. they find out about your ambitions and dreams and create a story so that you'll want to go with them.  you might be walking into Hell and can't get out and nobody knows where you are.
they have also set up survivor groups on the internet to lure in abused or DID survivors..only to exploit them in some way.
it Can happen to You...
i know that Ivory Garden is Safe.  i've been coming here for many years.  i know that our Owner  has our backs and does everything to keep it safe.
as far as other groups out there go i would not trust Any of them.
i worry alot about young girls 17 and under and also young women.  you've got to keep Yourself safe.
PLEASE, don't agree to meet someone in Person until you are fairly sure of their intentions.
i just had to post this.

brazen60  
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krathyn
krathyn
krathyn

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/4/2016, 9:57 pm

thanks for posting this. my own experience with human trafficking was as a juvenile by a personal abuser.
doesn't mean that is the only way this happens.
a nice safe way to meet some of the people you meet on the internet here is via attending the conferences.
otherwise make very sure you know of the other person's intentions.



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/5/2016, 10:49 am

What a great post!

I can't stop asking myself how members who do get accessed via the net to other groups just disappear or end up in a house states away from their own - dead - without any investigation or cause of death.  Others are missing - why would anyone go to someone's house out in nowhere despite telling many that they were afraid and not trusting of the person?  And, the biggest 'why' - why would anyone think it a 'good' thing to hide that person's death via the internet or from others - to 'help' bury the fact that she is even gone?  Lots of questions without good answers.  They are ultimately protecting the abuser - they are victims themselves - not strong enough to stand for their own convictions - how does that happen within a community of some 500-1000 survivors (just who have been on this site) and literally millions who browse the internet for support daily?  

There is so much information on human-trafficking now.  It has been well-hidden for centuries, because victims don't tell - anyone.  And, people don't believe that they can become a victim - for reasons listed above.  Reality - human trafficking is no more than forced 'slavery'.  Your age doesn't matter to them.  More people are used for forced labor than for sex trade.  And, people who do get away try to tell, and they aren't believed.  

Research suggests that there are 20.9 Million victims of trafficking right here in the U.S. RIGHT NOW.  

Some misconceptions about human trafficking:

1)  only young girls are accessed and used for sex-trade

2)  Sex trade 'is' the main purpose for human trafficking -

3)  Victims and abusers don't 'know' each other

4)  Victims are 'kidnapped' and not responsible for 'luring' others.

The reality that some of my close friends I have met on the internet may be 'gone' - lured into being trafficked and/or killed, is becoming a very scary reality.  

Sometimes, I think that I might tell my personal experiences with trafficking, but know that those who are most susceptible will not listen or believe.  I have been involved in both the sex-trafficking and the 'slave-labor' trafficking.  And, I do know how it works, how easily they can trap you, and how I was made to lure others - also.  And, I learned how to keep myself safe from being involved.  

I will tell you how it all works whether irl or on the internet:  

1) You are approached and 'befriended' by someone.  You are often 'offered something' - told that they can 'help' you fulfill some dream - like publish your book or help your business, etc.  The promise doesn't generally 'happen', but you will wait and get deeper.  
2)  You trust the person and give them personal information.
3)  They have others who will verify that they are 'safe'.  Sometimes, even a group of many.
4)  You are asked to meet somewhere.  Generally a 'get together' or 'party'.  
5)  Once you are there, you are trapped.  What can happen while in this private space is terrifying and unbelievable to other folks.  By the time they are done with you, you will do anything for them - including going out and luring other folks - turning them against family, safe people, etc. - whatever it takes to get you there and/or working for them on the internet or irl to create trust.  
6)  If they even think that you may 'tell', you will either be shipped away, your family will be threatened, or you will be killed.  

Anyone who has 'walked into' these setups - either willingly or by force - will tell you the same.  

Ways to keep yourself safe:

1)  If on the internet, realize that 'friends' or as they called it on the documentary 'internet-buddies' CANNOT be trusted.  It may feel warm and fuzzy to feel like you have so any friends who love you - but, reality is that a 'friend' relationship takes time and effort - ups and downs - working through misunderstandings, etc.  
2)  Avoid being put in a situation of feeling you 'have to' make a choice of being loyal to your new 'internet-buddy' or another.  Avoid believing that someone else is dangerous - and, they are actually your safe 'buddy'.  Being isolated from safe people, family, etc. is the most common mistake people make.
3)  The notion of what 'programming' is and how it works is another common mistake.  Programming is the process of getting you to 'do' something that you 'know' doesn't feel right to you.  Once your decision to 'follow' is made, there is no going back.  These people don't 'program' though 'hand signals' or certain words, etc.  That is incorrect information - not even sensible.  They 'program' though threats and terror - you are well aware when you are being 'programmed'.  Within a very short time, you know not to turn on them.  
4) Understand the 'Stockholm syndrome'.  Definition:  

http://www.a21.org/content/the-stockholm-syndrome/gjdpjj?permcode=gjdpjj wrote:Why do they stay? It's a question that comes up time and time again for anyone who has been advocating against human trafficking for any length of time. Why do they stay? Why don't they run?

The relationship between trafficker and victim can be complex and multifaceted. Traffickers use a variety of tactics to manipulate and control their victims. This often results in what has been termed the 'Stockholm Syndrome'.

The Stockholm Syndrome is an answer to the question, “Why do they stay?” It is a psychological phenomenon in which ...victims... express empathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them.

Notice that within this syndrome, you believe emotionally that they 'are' your buddy - that is 'programming' - and can happen to anyone - even the strongest of us.
4)  Know that if you realize that you are caught in a trafficking situation, you can 'leave'.  You can run.  Though it has been some 40 years since I was trafficked, I was the only one who seemed to know the fact that I could 'run' or 'walk away' - anytime.  They called people like me 'runners' - they didn't come after me at all - nor, did they follow through with the threats.  They only did that if I stayed and refused to do what I was told.
5)  Realize how fast you can become a victim - most become victims within 2 days - a few weeks.  This does not happen over a period of time.  Those who really can be trusted have demonstrated consistency over a long period of time - they don't try to influence or lure you into any situation.  Those are who the abusers try to turn you against.  
6) None are immune to the influences of these folks.  Human Trafficking is a huge business - the tactics they use work - and, most don't believe that they could be a target - despite the statistics and facts that they have permeated the internet - Virtually EVERY survivor group actually founded as a place to lure people for that purpose.  
7)  DO NOT meet 'internet buddies' in person, especially if you feel you are being influenced to do so - especially, at a house or hotel where you would feel unsafe with any 'stranger'.  If you feel that you can't 'stop yourself', tell someone exactly where you are going, with whom, and why - so that if something happens to you, someone can track it - and, if something happens to you - it can be investigated.
8)  Anonymously report what you 'know' in order to help authorities investigate human trafficking - don't 'help' human traffickers hide their activities.
7)  If you can't stop yourself from following these groups or individuals who you 'know' have trapped you into 'emotional bonding' - get yourself off the internet and get help - NOW.  

Of course, me learning that survivor groups were founded in order to lure and program innocents for the purpose of trafficking, amazed me.  I still find it difficult to believe.  But, the first several forums that I joined some 12-15 years ago were dangerous and practicing sex-trading with girls on the forum, influencing members to meet them in person at their house (where they raped for weeks), befriending quickly and requesting personal information - turning one another against each other - promoting drama and gossip.  Members were disappearing - with the idea that they just 'moved on' promoted by owners.  I simply thought that these places were too much drama for me - and, decided to build a safe place where people could come for some kind of sanctuary from these places.  I NEVER requested 'loyalty' or have tried to influence anyone in any way.  

We have, many times, had people come here and try to lure members away.  I just assumed that it was simply that they were threatened by us - a kind of competition - that never made sense.  If these groups and people were 'for real', why did they not support Ivory Garden and our efforts to keep survivors safe?  Rather, they went to great lengths to create a belief that 'we' are the 'bad guys'.  Once survivors realized that they had been lied to, did they stay with clearly abusive people who had lied to them?  Why would anyone spend the time it takes to administer and create forums and fb pages if they were not doing it to 'help' people?  That question has been answered - why would we - if we aren't gaining anything from all the work we do?   There is a huge benefit for luring survivors for trafficking - no benefit for us who want to help and give survivors a safe place to be.  

For some 10 years, we have fought to keep this forum safe - despite the reality that ALL other forums refuse to support us and actually, try to influence survivors that we are the 'bad guys' - despite all evidence that we are not - they believe.  Why?    

Information is pouring in that suggests that survivors are being accessed on the internet - and, the pace has picked up as more and more survivors are so easily accessed, and it has become a fact that they 'believe' most anything they hear - without thought.  How many survivors are 'missing' or gone - how would we know who they are or where?  I have tried to track a few whom I have know for many, many years - and, can't find.

Brazen, you are correct.  Thank you again for posting.  And, Krathyn, you are correct.  We go to great length to ensure the safety of attendees at the conference.  We have an organization that can be researched, we have a board of directors and share board members' information, we choose a hotel that is safe, and our attendees are random - coming for all over the country with one agenda - to meet in a safe place, to hear presenters whom are well-known and professional.  It is not just a group of survivors getting together without any promotion, etc.  

No 'hidden' agenda - or the message that we not 'tell' about the meeting - very dangerous.

I have been invited to other survivors houses to stay 'a couple' weeks - they even offered to pay for flights to go to their houses.  I was excited and nearly accepted these offers - can't anyone see how dangerous this could be?  

I am sorry this is so very long.  I have spent some 10 years of warning about internet safety - I nearly have given up - my word does not seem to be taken seriously - or even heard - now, that the accessing and luring has picked up the pace.  I understand how prevalent it has been all of these years, and I understand why my message of internet safety is ignored by so many survivors.

I am told that I cannot 'save' anyone from themselves.  These folks who lure for profit are extremely good at what they do.  They pretend to fulfill the needs of survivors.  Survivors 'want' to believe that they are special 'buddies' with others - to belong, etc.  And, they totally believe the crap they hear about safe folks - whom recruiters also are aware of and turn them against.  All of it is well-hidden - covered by the victims who protect them.  When asked to 'report' suspicious activities of 'accessing', they don't, because they are 'afraid' that the member will 'get in trouble' - that seemingly makes no good sense until you understand the Stockholm Syndrome of protecting the abusers.  

I know now that my original fears are very 'real' - and, I worry for every survivor who falls into these traps - but, we can't do anything, but warn.  If they don't listen, we have done our part - mourn the losses and continue to provide as much safety and education as we can.  

This should be taken seriously by also, every parent whose child is on the internet.  'Secret groups' on the net are 'secret' for a reason -

I hope that this discussion is continued and some will come forward and share their experiences - I don't 'expect' that will happen, but hope - for the safety and education of everyone.

Thanks again.


Last edited by felicity on 7/6/2016, 1:26 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : spelling)



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

https://igdid.org
Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

https://ivorygardensite.com/

Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
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krathyn
krathyn
krathyn

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/5/2016, 11:18 am

thank you Felicity for filling in some key issues about what is going on in the Internet today



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/6/2016, 1:34 pm

I am just so glad that human trafficking, what it is, and how it works is being made a huge deal today. Even I thought that it was about girls being abducted and taken out of the country and sold for sex. I had no idea that it happens so often or that so many folks right here in the US were involved right now. And, I had no clue that what happened to me 'was' human trafficking. I just called it 'abuse' -

Human trafficking involves so many types of abuse - people do need to be informed and educated - although, I can see where 'giving themselves up' to these people may actually benefit 'them' - emotionally or financially - that's how it works. right? How very frustrating - to know that you are a 'slave' to anyone - doing their dirty work without even being aware.

Sad and confusing.



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

https://igdid.org
Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

https://ivorygardensite.com/

Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
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brazen60
Less than 100 posts
Less than 100 posts

re: human trafficking

Post by brazen60 on 7/6/2016, 7:15 pm

i can only appreciate when someone has been able to reframe what i was trying to say and provide even more information, facts and stats around this issue.
thanks.
i have to believe that other survivors are reading this and i feel that if one life has been changed or one person can navigate out of a bad situation then it has been worth the effort.
i hope that others will choose to share their experiences. this is a weapon that we all can use against predators on the web. it is called The Web for a reason. it is so important to Think and Discern; and to be able to do that we need information. information that can really help.
we need to expose these people and the best way to do that is through active discussion.
in my own situation...i tried to run many times from the sick family i was born into. but it wasn't until i was 16 years old that i determined that this time i was going to make it. i fled 1500 miles away and this time they would Never find me
i didn't think about what the next step might be. how would i support myself ? i was too young to get a job. i had no drivers license and no money and no food. within a year i was engaging in what they now call Survival Sex.
i certainly did not know that i was being Groomed for this; and by whom???? a Baptist man who attended services every sunday , orchestrated the choir and had his own family with him!
i found myself in that dark world...the streets, drugs and prostitution.
the Predators had the same Mentality then as they do now. it's just easier today. they know when a young child feels lonely. feels misunderstood and unaccepted. feels so very alone and They prey upon that. the problem with the Web is that there is no accountability for someone's actions. should i venture to assume that many have most likely gotten away with murder.
i recall when i was 12 and 13 years old there was NO ONE i could talk to. no parent...no teacher....no caretaker. they were the abusers. so who would i tell??
if i did tell...who would believe me? no one ever knew the extent of what i went through in that family.
i can only urge others that if you are in an abusive or threatening situation...try to find One person that you can tell or confide in. Think! there must be one person in your world... a friend perhaps. maybe, you have a friend who is going through things similar...try to talk to someone For her/or him.
i just feel like We All need to start talking about this Reality that is affecting so many countless lives. these Predators Do Not have the right to Use and Misuse us.
i hope this discussion continues.

brazen60
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krathyn
krathyn
krathyn

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/6/2016, 8:05 pm

yes this discussion needs to continue.
they can be Baptist or Catholic or Jewish...or practice no religion, but they tend to be well groomed, looked up to in their communities, and no one would ever suspect---
they have children in the Honour Roll, they have trophy wives, they know their way around more than just town...
my abuser was my f and then my u and they were too well known and respected for anyone to believe what they were doing.
least of all their own wives.
my experience began at age 19 mos (My own S/O found a very revealing picture) and lasted until the age of 14 when one of "mine" got us into foster care, then emancipation at age 17, sometimes 3 jobs at a time (a perk of being multiple)



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/6/2016, 8:43 pm

My sister got trapped at 35 yo - I thought that she would never be touched by them - but - hey, she was poor, on welfare, and a child with downs syndrome. She needed help and good old dad was there to offer it. She turned on me when I tried to warn her about him. A house, a new car - she was thrilled and had no problem telling her kids what a wonderful man he was - I don't think that she has seen them since - or their 7 very young children - her own grandchildren. She still believes that he was a great and generous man and stands up for him. Her kids - well... no one really knows what happened to them - she thinks that they may just be angry at her - clear denial. I gave up on talking to her many years ago - I couldn't bear to hear the excuses that she made and how I was 'just what he told her' - a liar. She 'was' spared, as a child, from the abuse I experienced, because I protected her by doing what they said, but once I stopped - it just all works like that. Pies in sky promises and presents/gifts are just that - payment - nothing comes free.

And, no one will listen and believe that they were that 'stupid' to fall into something by believing someone is that nice and thoughtful. Reality: no one who falls into it is 'stupid' at all. We all want to believe that people are nice - that someone out there really does care and wants to help without expecting something in return. Rather than feel guilty and loyal - it is best to spread the word so others don't get caught in the same trap. It is best to understand that traffickers and abusers are the 'bad guys' - not their victims. They need to be caught and put away for good. They chose to hurt others - the victims are blameless.

I lost my sister to that sort of manipulation - she was my closest friend, and I still love her, but she believed a really, really bad guy over me. We will never again have any kind of relationship. And, that was what he promised would be my punishment for leaving. Sad? yes, but how these people work - just saying.

I have had the same sorts of threats on the internet - and, the bad guys have followed through. I have come to the end of my time of 'hoping' that anyone hears me over the bad guys - I haven't seen it happen yet. It is so very sad to lose friends in this way - and, difficult - and, people don't believe that they are part of it all - sheesh. What does it take - the knowledge of how many are 'gone'? We will never know that.

It is frustrating - my story is much like both of you all. Lots of time living on the streets as a teen, trapped as a 'slave' selling stupid magazines during the day and sex during the evening. Then, running right back into another trafficking scam for luring teens into the same situation - then, again - into drug trafficking for bad-guys - it is so hard to get out of once they have you tagged. And, it was my past - the idea of believing that any of these nice folks who accessed me were really tying to help - they were so nice at first. I am tired of this - are we the only ones who can see it happening?



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

https://igdid.org
Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

https://ivorygardensite.com/

Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
avatar
krathyn
krathyn
krathyn

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/6/2016, 9:39 pm

Here are three of us. somewhere there are more who have BTDT and lived to tell. and know the difference between what is genuine and what is not.



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
avatar
felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/7/2016, 12:22 pm

I have been researching this whole thing - (I am always researching something)

I am wondering how much 'culture' has to do with 'surviving' - and how much this is misunderstood or simply ignored by therapists and survivors/victims.

How many grew up - not so much in abusive families, etc. - but fighting for every piece of food, knowing that there was always a 'handout' for a price, with NO parents (pure neglect) - learning that they are responsible for not only our own life, but their siblings?

We were 'put out there' for anyone to abuse us - and, we did learn to survive - on our own - in anyway that we could. Our 'resources' and 'strength' is inherently already there. And, we survived by trusting ourself and our perception of a world where 'helpers' stigmatized us as 'throw away kids' - not worth the time of day - but also knowing that we were free for the pickings to use in anyway they pleased. Who was there to protect us? - nobody, but ourself. Those who grew up as survivors in this sort of culture are few, but still here.

So, what do therapists tend to do? - treat us as if we 'can't' or that we should change to be like them - them, mostly coming from completely different cultures than we survived - assuming that we 'are' or should be like them. They don't understand that those who have survived such conditions don't seek 'pity' or handouts from anyone. We seek understanding of what it is like to starve on the street, to be used and abused, terrorized, etc. The last thing that we want is attention and/or 'help' from other survivors or anyone (for that matter) - because our strength and resources are already there - we don't need anything and don't trust 'promises' that never come to pass.

We never felt that we belonged anywhere - because - fact: we don't belong - we see reality as it is - we know the pie-in-the-sky promises - and know 'who' to trust and 'who' is out to take advantage of us. We have always been different - we see the world differently. It has nothing to do with DID or symptoms. We don't tend toward 'belonging', but to surviving. Most of us are still struggling to just feed ourself and our kids - if we have them. The 'drama clubs' and cliques don't interest us - in fact, we see them as silly and simply don't have the time to 'belong' and gossip about others, etc. We expect that we will never belong anywhere - and, people will always turn on us if we don't follow their lead - that's just how the world works.

But, we tend toward helping others to understand all of the millions of homeless people and those caught in human trafficking - many simply to survive or too lost in their own worlds trying to fulfill their own needs to notice - doing whatever it takes. Survivors coming from the very poor culture aren't even in therapy and can't get to computers to belong to groups - they aren't that lucky. They probably don't even know that they exist.

We try to help educate the public and therapists who may come in contact with these people who really need understanding and support to move forward. But, we can't do anything until people really do come to terms that the most productive survivors are those who really have already survived - they don't live in fancy houses, they didn't grow up simply abused with food in their mouth, they have seen death - not within abusive situation so much, but from starvation, murder, and neglect - without anyone caring at all.

Knowledge of cultural background and stigma based on this is what is missing in understand how abuse affects adult survivors and child victims -

I am not saying this to invalidate anyone - but, to state facts. There is a huge difference in our way of surviving and how we relate to the world - regardless of who we are - based on the culture we live in now and where we came from.

No, survivors who have fought their way through life are going to be able to relate to those who have been comfortably fed their every need by 'asking' or influencing others to hand it to them. They will never 'change' because of a t need to make them someone who they just will never become - no one can fix them - because, they simply aren't broken - just culturally different, very strong, resilient, perceptive, and intelligent.

The conference that we work so fervently to get out there 2016 Trauma and Dissociation Conference is to help everyone gain different perspectives and to understand their own strengths and a need to start paying attention to what everyone can do to work together so that every survivor thrives in an environment free of stigmas and drama - that is what we do - in our own little way to help everyone. No pie-in-the-sky promises - everyone is invited - whether stuck in some drama club group - or clique - no loyalty - all of that is promoted by either professionals or survivors whom are threatened - they are part of the problem - not the solution. 48 million survivors out there and literally billions of professionals working with them - where are they all - surely, they are simply ignorant - locked in a world where fulfilling their own needs is most important.

I admire those who hear me and know that what I am saying - and, can probably say it better than I (who seemingly just woke up to this reality) are out there working so hard to make a difference. There are many - you are the best - We are beginning to meet these folks and work together with them. A huge thank you to you all for waking me up.

Anyhow, maybe off-topic. I may start another topic, but I think that this is relevant to 'why' some fall for being trafficked and some are not even accessed. The 'bad guys' know who to access and who to steer clear of.

What do you think?



     

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mystory
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by mystory on 7/7/2016, 1:01 pm

Don't have a lot of time right now, but wanted to say: This is truth!

Take off the blinders and take the plugs out of the ears and look at it square on. Suspend outrage if you have to, and SEE!

Will post more later! It's just such a relief to have this typed here by you wonderful amazing people!
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/7/2016, 1:06 pm




     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

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krathyn
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/7/2016, 3:44 pm

there IS a lot more to be said and will get back to it



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





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brazen60
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re: human trafikking

Post by brazen60 on 7/8/2016, 12:16 am


i've thought alot about the previous posts....and yes there is a whole other layer of environmental, sociological and economic elements that contribute to a person's sense of well-being and society at large.
i think a good gauge is to evaluate the extent of
Sickness that is evident in a society.
our's is pretty sick right now. it can be overwhelming, to say the least. societies generate sickness and then breed it for more of the same. who is benefitting from this aspect?
i think that many survivors of hardships emerge with a strength that cannot be traded, bought or sold. it is not a commodity. it is something earned....the price is high.
i still believe in being Real, honest and forthcoming. i may never know who i have reached by talking honestly and openly about difficult subject matter.
or by telling my story...
as far as therapists go....the role of a Good therapist is to guide or help you find your own answers. more on that later.....

brazen60
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krathyn
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/8/2016, 7:32 am

some survivors survive a great deal more than abuse. they may survive abject poverty as well. certainly they survive the serious social problems inherent in our society.
we are only discussing one symptom here; and it is a serious and pervasive symptom



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/8/2016, 1:11 pm

Yes! We all have needs that weren't met as abuse survivors. And, all of us want so badly to have them met as adults. Some were groomed to learn that you can have your needs 'met' for a price - your dreams 'can' come true if you just give a bit of yourself - sell your soul - so to say or just believe and trust the wrong people. We see this happen in Hollywood - human trafficking there coming out into the light now. You can be a 'star', until you don't do as they are told.

Some learned that promises are never kept by abusers - and, those who do promise or make offers, never fulfill them.

Some simply 'hope' that they can trust those whom make promises - the biggest mistake. The art of 'selling' was discovered by behaviorists long ago - they believed that if they can discover a need, advertise fulfillment of the need, people will buy anything. Behaviorists were also the psychiatrists who researched through experimentation, programming and 'conditioning'.

Others know that if they 'give' what abusers want, they will fulfill their needs. This happens often in marriages or relationships.

Survivors who have DID, also have needy littles - often so starved for love and attention that they will follow anyone whom they believe is a new 'mommy' - who cares so much. They don't have the experience of understanding that new 'mommies' are not 'real', but they are vulnerable to falling into dangerous situations.

And, no one wants to be viewed as a 'throw away' person - a stigma society has put on the poor whom they believe are not worthy of moving forward and amount to anything. So, many also have needs in feeling 'worthy' -

These needs should be in therapy or by trusted family member - not on the internet where folks can easily take advantage.

Just some thoughts



     

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brazen60
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trafficking and culture

Post by brazen60 on 7/14/2016, 12:43 am

have been thinking some of this over....
i guess i have come to see that "culture" is basically what you are born into. you are born into and influenced by the belief systems of others around you who also influence you with their perspectives and interpretations regarding certain issues. then one must also ask what belief systems were They influenced by?
i think most every person is presented with a choice at some point in their life when they realize (hopefully) that there is something wrong with the Shape of things in their world.
i had always rejected the families' sick ideas about things. i chose to start formulating my own ideas and not "buy" into all the propaganda coming forth. i had to identify the institutions and ideologies that i felt had tried to "brainwash" me. and for me there were three major areas....1. the family 2. catholic church doctrine 3. public school system.

i guess i saw how family and church doctrine were all Fear based. when i faced those deep-rooted fears i began to "de-brainwash" myself.
mind you...i am only referring to what i considered harmful to my sense of well-being.

one day i woke up and said to myself(ves)...i can Choose what i believe in and not just because someone told me what to believe in. i can now Choose and make decisions based on my own belief system
i think that this is an extension of this discussion.
how many survivors are "falling for" or trapped in someone else's belief system because they never formulated one on their own?
i found this realization quite exhilirating! and the Fear was gone. i Can Think for myself and the world did not implode on me.

brazen60
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/14/2016, 10:47 am

yes picking and choosing one's own doctrines is definitely a way to get out of mind control situations.
which may be different for different people.



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





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felicity
Felicity Lee
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by felicity on 7/14/2016, 11:42 am

@brazen60 wrote:how many survivors are "falling for" or trapped in someone else's belief system because they never formulated one on their own?
i found this realization quite exhilarating! and the Fear was gone. i Can Think for myself and the world did not implode on me.

Wow, that takes some thought for me.  

Especially, when I first started therapy - in my 50's - then, decided to research anything I could find about being DID - I didn't know anything about all this dissociation stuff.  I didn't really have any 'belief system' about my past.  

I realized right away that I had always been 'different' from others who didn't go through any trauma.  I did 'believe' that they everyone was 'better' than me - of course, they made it clear that they were.  They had it all and never had to 'survive'.  I wanted to 'be like them', but never quite fit in.  I 'believed' that I deserved to be 'less than' - just a throw away kid with no education - despite that I had worked some 15 years to earn not one, but 4 degrees.  I still didn't feel 'good enough'.  

I had never considered 'hiding' my identity or whom I was from anyone, until I started meeting other survivors.  They taught me that you have to 'fear' others - you can't trust anyone including your own system, you 'have' to learn to forgive, it takes time to heal while you dig through past memories - rather than attending to you irl situations, you 'have' to be dependent on others who know more than you, in order to be trusted, you have to have 'littles', and they have to talk to other 'littles'.  Every multiple is an expert, and we need to listen to them.  And on and on.  

And, mostly - you have to show your loyalty to other survivors whom proclaim themselves 'leaders' - rather than ever say 'no' - follow the crowd rather than become the victim of gossip and flaming.  

I learned quickly that survivors believe most of this crap without a thought, and are the most likely population unable to think for themselves and very likely to turn on and cyberbully anyone who doesn't agree with them.  (Though, my confusion still lies with why I 'have' to believe that every person who claims themselves to be multiple actually is multiple or anything other than trolls - they don't prove themselves to be 'survivors' looking to support other survivors - after all.)    

After some 15 years dealing with this bs, I saw it all for what it is - bs to try to control me.  So, I put my real name out there - nope - the sky didn't fall.  I realized that I don't have to 'follow' anyone - let them cyberbully me - they did, but nothing happened.  They threatened my life - I have never felt safer.  I rely now on my own strength and am not dependent on anyone.  

Yep, I can think for myself - and, nope - I the world did not implode or anything.

I had become so sick of the trusting people only to have them turn on me - all the drama and trying to figure out who was who on the net - trying so hard to support and care for folks who later bullied me to the point of several attempts at SU without a thought of what they did to me - and, they don't care AT ALL about ppl who spent literally years supporting 'them'.  

(I think all here understand that this is not meant for 'all' survivors - and, it is not meant as invalidation to any survivors who follow this path - I support all survivors and always have. I simply have compassion for those who have not found their path).

This is an extension to this discussion.  It is exactly how certain ppl do stay safe and not others.  Human traffickers use this same technique to get their victims involved.  They can't even touch people who are thinking for themselves - these people don't 'fall into the drama' (as I hear often from survivors) - they don't 'need' to follow and have no 'fear' of losing their 'friends'.  They are strong in themselves and free of the Fear.  They have choice and can say 'no'.  They get involved with the wrong people, they walk away without Fear.  

I don't wait for or expect anyone to take on my beliefs - they are mine and I can speak them freely without imposing them on others.  I expect others to have their own and am able to validate them - that is called 'respect'.  

When I realized that these people can't even effect me, was the day that the Fear was gone, and I began living my own life - symptom free.  Yeehaa



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

https://igdid.org
Who is Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation?

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Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
President: Ivory Garden Nonprofit Corporation

felicity4us2@gmail.com
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krathyn
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Re: Human Trafficking on the Internet - Trauma Survivor Groups

Post by krathyn on 7/14/2016, 2:36 pm

i came out of something similar.
i saw all the things the "multiples" did online. Funny how often i met multiples on line and how rare i met them in person.
eventually i did meet some multiples in person and they had  a different way to do things than what they did in person.
not all multiples want their little parts to talk to other little parts of other multiples, and it was relieving since mine never did



wishing you well-
Krathyn, Sebastian, Strawberry, Easebeth, Petrea
Krathyn of We5:    we accept all intentions of support--





krathyn148@gmail.com
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