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To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.


Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

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Who's Fault - James is Dead - a Video

Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Who's Fault - James is Dead - a Video  Empty Who's Fault - James is Dead - a Video

Post by felicity on 7/21/2016, 8:43 am

This video is short and important for everyone to watch.

Murder? Whose 'fault' is murder. I watched this and realized that though trying to keep people safe on the internet is little more than 'faulting' someone for being 'too nice' or 'trusting someone too much' - or not listening to repeated warnings or not reporting what they know and on and on. Murder is murder - serious - and, the victim can never be blamed any more than being blamed for abuse or any other crime. No one 'deserves' to be treated with anything but respect and validation - regardless. The perpetrators of abuse - the person who commits the murder or crime cannot be excused regardless of situations. 'Trust' does not give anyone the power to misuse. I don't know the answers to what is happening with survivors on the net, but have heard the exact words you will hear in this video way too many times.

This is short and worth everyone's watch - like a short 'wake-up call' if you find yourself making the mistake of misplacing blame or feeling guilty and/or misplacing loyalty. If you have heard similar words come from your mouth or others - remember that we do all make mistakes for the purpose of healing and moving forward with the lessons learned.

Like and share this video. Discussion is open here - please participate if you feel comfortable.

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Post by brazen60 on 7/22/2016, 3:26 pm

wow, what a great video...i'm glad i watched it because i think it explains what i had already been thinking about ,as in:  what to do if you(and i mean you in the general sense) feel that you are being threatened, used, misused and abused by someone(s) on the internet. and esp. if your family is being threatened if you Don't do what they tell you do.  it's really a more sinister form of "terrorism".
now, i am not big on contacting the local authorities about a problem.  But this is one problem that needs to be reported to your local authorities..if you are able and i will tell you why...the police may not provide an adequate solution but the important thing is to create a papertrail...meaning they have to document and file all complaints.  i cannot Stress this enough.  it is just as important for you to document any and all offenses with Date, Time, nature of the offense and if you know...who the offender is.  that way if your case ever goes to court, you will have all the Facts.  this is all the court cares about and just by saying..."well,i think it might've been tuesday that this happened" is not going to set well and they can begin to find Holes in your story.  Document, document and report to the police Every single Time that someone makes advances towards you.
my big Concern is about all the young people that feel they cannot tell their parents, for whatever reason, and certainly feel that they cannot tell authorities without being "found out".
Perpetrators know All about this.  i can only urge
that teenagers find someone who can keep their confidence and then take the right actions.
i can only think of those who have been murdered and might still be alive today If only someone had gotten the authorities involved.  for young people...no one on the internet has the right to manipulate or coerce you into doing anything.  if you feel like you are in over your head, find someone to tell because it may mean your life.
But, i remember when i was that age i didn't believe that any of that would ever happen to me.
i get that..i know.
Ivory Garden is the most well-protected and monitored site i've seen.  i also can only assume that young people are coming to this site.
i think idealistically i'd like to hear from Them what they think might work in these situations.  they are the ones who know and might be able to offer some solutions to these rampant problems.
i think basically...they can post with just a username after they have registered (that information is kept guarded and private).  they are the ones on the "frontlines"...i can only hope that one or more of them will step up and join the fight against perps and offenders.  the only way to be rid of these Sick F..ks is to rally and fight against them.
i think we are in the age of what could be called CyberWars.  i already Know what side i am on.  what side are you on?  (again, you is only meant in a general sense).

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Post by krathyn on 7/22/2016, 4:19 pm

thank you for posting this.. it was short, but it made some good points quite clearly.
thank you Brazen--am agreeing wholeheartedly.

wishing you well-
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