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Blob Parts #disabled parts #protectors #somatic memories

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Emily
Less than 100 posts
Less than 100 posts

Blob Parts #disabled parts #protectors #somatic memories

Post by Emily on 7/2/2017, 9:05 am

I have somatic memories during EMDR. Parts come out in a succession who feel like they have experienced one sort of trauma over and over again. The nature of the events re-lived suggest RA.
I know my mom was capable of life threatening abuse towards me but these memories, coming from a second system, take the torture to a new level. Some of them are hard to comprehend and believe.
I purposely avoid reading about RA because I don't want to 'suggest' things to my mind. My T says that the memories coming up are similar to others he's heard from other RA survivors. (He's a DID and C-PTSD expert). I'm having a hard time coming to terms and believing this stuff. The memories are soooo bad! Some parts believe and others don't. Anyone else dealing with this or any thoughts are welcome.
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Dymond
100+ Posts
100+ Posts

Re: Blob Parts #disabled parts #protectors #somatic memories

Post by Dymond on 7/15/2017, 5:32 pm

Emily,
Denial helps pace the process. I remember being in a very similar sort of state over 23 years ago when I first began to process. I too avoided reading material about ritual abuse. There came a point though, where, I needed to know. I attended a conference for RAS and bought a very helpful book on the topic. I think with body memories (is this what you mean by somatic memories), well, you can trust them. A useful mantra/saying/notion is, old stuff passing through. Eventually, all the things I couldn't wrap my mind around? Well, it has been corroborated by other siblings... Hang in there! So sorry you had to experience what you did.
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Guest
Guest

Re: Blob Parts #disabled parts #protectors #somatic memories

Post by Guest Yesterday at 7:32 am


Hi, Emily -

Early on and over a decade ago, we began having similar memories - just so awful that we didn't even want to believe.

We avoided reading stuff on the internet for the same reasons.

For a short time, we did end up on SRA/MC survivor sites for 'support'. These sites were not at all helpful - the paranoia, the expectations of everyone to have similar experiences as those running the sites was nonsensical and more outrageous than some of the stuff posted on the net. The beliefs that we could be programmed by ANYONE - our family members, friends, even the t, caused us to isolate. Just really bad. We did leave these sites and are sorry that we ever believed anything they said. They truly expected everyone to believe such things as that 'bad ppl' were coming into our house and kidnapping us, programming us and returning us to our bed - without our knowledge - scary and untrue - at least for most everyone there. They promote that the ONLY people you could trust - was them.

So, getting back to some semblance of 'reality' took awhile once I got away from their influence on me. The therapist helped with that.

I always question the notion that RA memories are similar - based on what survivors tell their therapists. I mean, how many of these survivors have been on the internet and shared experiences. Yes, some might be similar, but obviously not everyone has the 'same' experiences. And, the terms SRA, MC, RA are actually terms that originated on the net within the 'SRA/MC community' which has been around for decades.

I don't think that we can avoid the influence of these people. I have been around on the net for decades. Everyone needs 'support', but support that includes paranoia and fear mongering is not helpful. We cannot live our life fearing EVERYTHING. If we are still here, obviously, the dangers that they promulgate are simply not realistic in our life. If the 'bad guys' wanted to hurt us, they would - right?

Once these influences are removed, ppl can work in therapy to move forward.

As far as 'believing ourself' - that is a process. I do try to 'believe' what memories come up. I think about my objective - to heal. I am not out to put anyone in jail or to bring charges against anyone. So, why would I ever make anything up or lie at all. I don't share names, places or any 'real' information - even with the therapist. I am not trying to get anyone in trouble.

The point - thinking things through in a way that makes commonsense is the most important thing -

You got this. Thank you for sharing this topic. I think everyone who begins remembering this sort of thing has similar questions.
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Current date/time is 7/22/2017, 3:34 am