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To provide a unique environment where folks who have experienced trauma can openly and safely talk. We strive to respect, validate, and learn from each other.

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Achieving our goal requires cooperative collaboration amongst members and staff. Members posts remain appropriate and relevant to topics. Terms of Service are clearly posted to help members maintain the dignity of the board. Members of this group are at a stage in their healing to independently regulate their own behavior, as well as keeping themselves safe while on the forums. Staff regularly monitor posts and replies to ensure the board remains a safe and comfortable environment of learning for everyone.

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New and Confused

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PurpledPixie
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New and Confused

Post by PurpledPixie on 8/12/2017, 10:36 am

I have felt 'different' forever and struggled my whole life with issues related to childhood trauma/abuse/neglect. Several diagnoses,multiple therapists, a 3 decade marriage falling apart and I finally met my first 'other'. Even though I'd asked 2 therapists if DID was a possibility, I always believed them when then assured me it was a natural concern when addressing the innocence of childhood I left behind and when referring to myself at that age. I knew better. I have poetry that clearly defines me as we. I have poetry written about my little hiding in the closet of THAT bedroom. I have shared them with therapists who thought it was just me working through various stages. I just kept accepting their denial of what I knew was true. Then I spent a week in training at a brand new job supporting myself for the first time ever in my life. (Marital separation) There was another very nice but wonderfully sarcastic girl training with me. It wasn't until the second week of training that I became fully aware of the fact that SHE wasn't actually there physically. SHE was also me.

I called in sick and spent three days in bed. I met others. I know that I knew that it was all painfully real.

Now, I don't. I think it's all a fake. Me being overly dramatic, wanting attention, losing my mind maybe due to losing my husband and full support system of nearly 30 years. This can't be real. The constant arguing, singing, questioning and laughing voices in my head are just me. That's normal, right?
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Morgan
Admin
Admin

Re: New and Confused

Post by Morgan on 8/12/2017, 10:41 am

The confusion and denial are very normal when we begin to heal from this shit, I wish I could say it wasn't. The people here on IG, including myself, totally understand what you are going through. It is very real, and it is going to be bumpy and painful for a while. We're here and we'll support you in any way we can.


Morgan



I love my Family of Choice, IG
Administrator
Shirley J. Davis

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PurpledPixie
Guest

Thanks

Post by PurpledPixie on 8/12/2017, 10:46 am

Thank you. I appreciate the support but I fear I'm too unstable to be helped much presently. Today would be my 28th wedding anniversary. Depending on who we let decide it will be wallowing in bed, partying out on the town and hoping to run into some swingers we met a month ago but did nothing except chat. (Maybe a little more. :)) or going to pick a fight with a 'friend' who abandoned me because my divorce would cause too much drama in her life. Or a little of all. Time will tell.
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Morgan
Admin
Admin

Re: New and Confused

Post by Morgan on 8/12/2017, 10:55 am

Well, when you are done feeling sorry for yourself, and ready to move on, we'll always be here. Grieving over the loss of a dream, such as a marriage, is tough. I was divorced too and I do understand a little. I had bought into the lie that after marriage we would always be able to work things out because love conquers all. I also believed in happily ever after. That's a bunch of nonsense. Life is much, much, much more complicated than that. Being unstable, well that's just temporary, but things you do when you are angry and hurt can have life-long consequences. Please be good to yourself and take care. Even though we are strangers to you, we do care. Morgan



I love my Family of Choice, IG
Administrator
Shirley J. Davis

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felicity
Felicity Lee
Felicity Lee

Re: New and Confused

Post by felicity on 8/12/2017, 11:39 am

We can move this post to the 'private area' of the forum if you decide to 'join'. You can do so by clicking here https://igdid.net/igdid-apply-for-membership/ or clicking on the 'apply' option on the menu here. Then, you will be sent instructions from there.

What you have written is common to those who struggle with the symptoms of Dissociative Disorders. You can receive support, educational information, etc. here.



     

Don't miss the Ivory Garden Conference this year!!

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Contact Pat Goodwin, MA
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felicity4us2@gmail.com
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PurpledPixie
Guest

Pity pot

Post by PurpledPixie on 8/13/2017, 9:06 am

Thank you for calling me out. I was just feeling sorry for myself yesterday morning. Took a few hours to process the emotions and decide on a better course of action. Ended up having a nice evening out with two friends. Stayed out of trouble as I usually do. I talk big sometimes, but I rarely ever cause drama or discord purposely. I flushed the pity pot and moved on.

I got recommendations for some psychiatrists who might actually listen to what's going on in my head and help me find better ways to cope. I emailed two of them and will try to call next week to see who has openings. Maybe I can find someone who will help we be me. :)

I am trying to access the private pages, I did fill out several different forms and got various emails on access so I'll figure it out eventually.

Thanks again for your truth and honesty!
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bpoppe1953
1,000+ Posts
1,000+ Posts

Re: New and Confused

Post by bpoppe1953 Yesterday at 5:00 am

I feel like I'm coming late to the party....

First of all Welcome!   I still consider myself new to the party too.  I'm 63 with a similar story to yours.  I have been dx'd with DID for 1 year.  It's been a whirlwind (maybe a cyclone at times) but it's been the best year in my long life.  Just acknowledging the parts that have helped me survive over the years.  Being introduced to new ones-like the kids.   Please ask about anything.  The folks here are kind, honest, helpful, insightful and just plain caring!


    WELCOME

For me this represents a new part just jumping into the party..
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Current date/time is 8/18/2017, 7:30 am